Wednesday, February 16, 2005
Commuting on the 101 during "the heyday"
The following email was sent by a dot-com employee in 2001, and describes one of the greatest single commutes of all time on the illustrious 101. All people's names have been changed in the interest of privacy.
(AP) Redwood City, CA--
Jeff Falkner appears to be ready to end his career on top when he retires from competitive irrelevant street racing this morning.
Monday morning Falkner achieved the pursuit of his lifetime by eclispsing the mythical 30-minute barrier on a rocket ride from XXXX Street, in the heart of San Francisco's Marina district, to the dilapidated corporate headquarters of Excite@Home. The feat was confirmed when race officials announced that the ride was not wind-aided and Falkner tested drug free aside from some traces of lingering booze from Saturday night.
The sporty black Jetta driven Mr. Falkner was fired up at 5:26 AM PST and quickly left XXX Street at break-neck speed almost running down an anorexic jogger on her third run of the morning. The journey out of the city was nearly perfect--serendipity. A very quick delay getting mainstreet Van Ness and it was off to the races. A pesky blue Honda attemped to block Falkner as piloted his vehicle up the first hill but was made quick work of with a spirited right lane passing maneuver. A series of flashing yellow lights that don't activate until 6 caused no delay with the only major stop occurring on Van Ness. A quick left onto Polk as the light turned yellow at Grove Street followed by a quick right onto Polk, which is also known as 'the launching pad' on the racing circuit as it carried the drivers onto highway 101.
The seasoned veteran commented,"When I hit 101, I felt a charge of adrenaline as the clock only read 5.33. From experience, I know that anything over 8 minutes at that stage of the game and I know I'm done for the day." The light traffic at that hour called for a quick move to the left-hand speed lane before settling in at a cruising pace of 80-85 mph with occassional bursts to the 90mph range. Again, Falkner had a feeling he could be making history at the SF Airport checkpoint when he flew past at the 16-17 minute mark of his epic run.
The rest of the trip down to RWC is very tactical. "The trick from SFO past 92 is to look not at where you are but rather, where you are going. This can prevent you from being 'blocked out' or trapped by slower moving vehicles." The brilliance of Falkner was on full display as he spotted a potential problem 1/4 mile ahead and moved to the far right lane for about 1/2 mile to avoid a traffic snafu. Having cleared this hurdle and flying past Poplar Creek in time to spot his coworker teeing off on #1, it was smooth sailing to the Woodside Road exit. The Woodside Road 1 mile sign stirred butterflies in our hero's stomach. He has been here before, within reach of history only to fall victim to the Broadway 5-way stop light. This is the final piece of the puzzle, the equivalent of Boston Marathon's HeartBreak Hill or TB trying to close out a hockey game from the centerman when he is offski.
With great dismay, Falkner rounded the corner to see the glaring red light screaming 'STOP' at him. He thought about running the light but the semi travelling in the opposite direction helped him decide that it was more prudent to stop and live to race another day. The stop was a relatively brief 20 seconds or so and as the light turned green, the clock read 5:54. He lept off the line careening onto Broaday and his date with destiny.
Falkner--"The charge of adrenaline I felt racing down Broadway has only been felt by a precious few champions in this world. That is pretty special. I have been to the mountain top."
The only thing at this point standing in the way of the 30-minute wall was a run-in with Johnny Law and that was not to be. With a quick right and left into the parking lot and total disregard for the parking lot stop signs, Falkner nestled into his customary front-row spot with the clock at 5:55 AM PST. Simple math will tell reader that 29 minutes is less than 30. With the ride over, Falkner closed his eyes, took a deep breath and took a moment to let the magnitude of his accomplishment sink in. Then, he promptly decided what he had to do next and issued the following statement:
"It is with mixed emotions that I announce my retirement from competitive irelevant racing. I am happy to be one of the few to go out at the pinnacle of my profession unlike those washed up losers like Wade Boggs, Jose Canseco and Cal Ripken. I'm not bitter but, those tools stayed too long and sucked when they left or are still sucking. I am the Michael Jordan and John Elway of irrelevant racing. My last shot was my best. At the same time, it makes me sad to give up something that I have devoted my entire life to accomplishing, or at least a few mornings in 2001. The funny thing is, I came in so far under the 30-minute mark with about 25 seconds to spare that I now believe sub-29 is possible given the right confluence of events. But, that is for a younger generation of racers to accomplish. It is time for me to retire so that I can spend more time with my family. Some might say that my pursuit of irrelevant street racing signals that I already have too much time on my hands but they are stupid, stupid idiots. The energy needed and potential perils of irrelevant racing are nothing to scoff at. At this time, I wish to thank all zero of my fans, my tireless vehicle and my sponsors for their support. Without them, none of this would have been possible. With that, I pass the torch to a new generation of racers, one that is looked at as very selfish and, at times, reckless. I want them to know that I believe in them. In time, they will learn that finesse and guile are as important as a lead foot. Godspeed to all. Now, I need a hot cup of Joe."
--The associated press contributed to this report
(AP) Redwood City, CA--
Jeff Falkner appears to be ready to end his career on top when he retires from competitive irrelevant street racing this morning.
Monday morning Falkner achieved the pursuit of his lifetime by eclispsing the mythical 30-minute barrier on a rocket ride from XXXX Street, in the heart of San Francisco's Marina district, to the dilapidated corporate headquarters of Excite@Home. The feat was confirmed when race officials announced that the ride was not wind-aided and Falkner tested drug free aside from some traces of lingering booze from Saturday night.
The sporty black Jetta driven Mr. Falkner was fired up at 5:26 AM PST and quickly left XXX Street at break-neck speed almost running down an anorexic jogger on her third run of the morning. The journey out of the city was nearly perfect--serendipity. A very quick delay getting mainstreet Van Ness and it was off to the races. A pesky blue Honda attemped to block Falkner as piloted his vehicle up the first hill but was made quick work of with a spirited right lane passing maneuver. A series of flashing yellow lights that don't activate until 6 caused no delay with the only major stop occurring on Van Ness. A quick left onto Polk as the light turned yellow at Grove Street followed by a quick right onto Polk, which is also known as 'the launching pad' on the racing circuit as it carried the drivers onto highway 101.
The seasoned veteran commented,"When I hit 101, I felt a charge of adrenaline as the clock only read 5.33. From experience, I know that anything over 8 minutes at that stage of the game and I know I'm done for the day." The light traffic at that hour called for a quick move to the left-hand speed lane before settling in at a cruising pace of 80-85 mph with occassional bursts to the 90mph range. Again, Falkner had a feeling he could be making history at the SF Airport checkpoint when he flew past at the 16-17 minute mark of his epic run.
The rest of the trip down to RWC is very tactical. "The trick from SFO past 92 is to look not at where you are but rather, where you are going. This can prevent you from being 'blocked out' or trapped by slower moving vehicles." The brilliance of Falkner was on full display as he spotted a potential problem 1/4 mile ahead and moved to the far right lane for about 1/2 mile to avoid a traffic snafu. Having cleared this hurdle and flying past Poplar Creek in time to spot his coworker teeing off on #1, it was smooth sailing to the Woodside Road exit. The Woodside Road 1 mile sign stirred butterflies in our hero's stomach. He has been here before, within reach of history only to fall victim to the Broadway 5-way stop light. This is the final piece of the puzzle, the equivalent of Boston Marathon's HeartBreak Hill or TB trying to close out a hockey game from the centerman when he is offski.
With great dismay, Falkner rounded the corner to see the glaring red light screaming 'STOP' at him. He thought about running the light but the semi travelling in the opposite direction helped him decide that it was more prudent to stop and live to race another day. The stop was a relatively brief 20 seconds or so and as the light turned green, the clock read 5:54. He lept off the line careening onto Broaday and his date with destiny.
Falkner--"The charge of adrenaline I felt racing down Broadway has only been felt by a precious few champions in this world. That is pretty special. I have been to the mountain top."
The only thing at this point standing in the way of the 30-minute wall was a run-in with Johnny Law and that was not to be. With a quick right and left into the parking lot and total disregard for the parking lot stop signs, Falkner nestled into his customary front-row spot with the clock at 5:55 AM PST. Simple math will tell reader that 29 minutes is less than 30. With the ride over, Falkner closed his eyes, took a deep breath and took a moment to let the magnitude of his accomplishment sink in. Then, he promptly decided what he had to do next and issued the following statement:
"It is with mixed emotions that I announce my retirement from competitive irelevant racing. I am happy to be one of the few to go out at the pinnacle of my profession unlike those washed up losers like Wade Boggs, Jose Canseco and Cal Ripken. I'm not bitter but, those tools stayed too long and sucked when they left or are still sucking. I am the Michael Jordan and John Elway of irrelevant racing. My last shot was my best. At the same time, it makes me sad to give up something that I have devoted my entire life to accomplishing, or at least a few mornings in 2001. The funny thing is, I came in so far under the 30-minute mark with about 25 seconds to spare that I now believe sub-29 is possible given the right confluence of events. But, that is for a younger generation of racers to accomplish. It is time for me to retire so that I can spend more time with my family. Some might say that my pursuit of irrelevant street racing signals that I already have too much time on my hands but they are stupid, stupid idiots. The energy needed and potential perils of irrelevant racing are nothing to scoff at. At this time, I wish to thank all zero of my fans, my tireless vehicle and my sponsors for their support. Without them, none of this would have been possible. With that, I pass the torch to a new generation of racers, one that is looked at as very selfish and, at times, reckless. I want them to know that I believe in them. In time, they will learn that finesse and guile are as important as a lead foot. Godspeed to all. Now, I need a hot cup of Joe."
--The associated press contributed to this report
